Top Ten Signs that You Might Want to Consider Living Life at a Slower Speed

Each and every one of these "examples" below were pulled straight out of the actual real life of, well, yours truly. I, of course, am not promising to do anything about it. Just sayin' ...(1) Those brief periods you find yourself in where wifi seems to be non-present or non-functioning cause you to grit your teeth, tighten up, and possibly even hyper-ventilate(2) You find yourself upset at how long your Keurig coffee machine is taking (3) You get upset when a light is green instead of red because you wanted to reply to a text or email(4) You travel with three portable iPhone chargers, two wall iPad chargers, two wall iPhone chargers, one surface pro charger, four wall USB chargers (for the portable iPhone chargers), and three chargers that you have never known what they were but are petrified to throw away(5) You can proudly claim that you took in the gorgeous tundra of Alaskan glaciers with How Religion Shaped Commerce in Puritan America(6) You refuse to even consider entering a restroom without an analyst report in hand - home or otherwise (7) In fifth grade you were middle of the class in math and science but did an "extra credit report" for no extra credit whatsoever on the Falklands/Argentina/Britain mess and another on the problems with UNICEF(8) You stop going to restaurants not on Open Table (this one may be legitimate)(9) The blessing you cite most often after years of vision impairment being surgically healed is that you can take your glasses off to read in bed(10) Your morning jacuzzi respite at your desert home requires three or more research reports, a book, an iPad, an iPhone, and two cups of coffee