2008 Pre-UCLA Edition - 11/25/07
This is the promised double edition I alluded to last week, and I hope it leaves you satisfied. I plan to make it an annual experience, but I will be sharing an autobiographical perspective on why I loathe UCLA the way that I do. A trip around the crazy world of college football is in order after this weekend. A look at that unbelievable USC whooping of Arizona State is a good idea. And finally, a preview of the actual USC-UCLA game .... So grab your coffee - this is truly a double edition of the weekly musings ....
- Why does David Bahnsen hate UCLA so much???? Allow me to begin my answer to this question by qualifying it a bit. I actually do not disrespect UCLA as an academic institution as much as I used to. I know 3 or 4 people who went there who I like (definitely not more than that). I am now too mature in my old age to not respect the fact that it is a quality school, with a handful of quality sports programs. But the nice comments do seriously end right there, as I have a fundamental reason for hating UCLA the way I do - particularly as a devout football fan, and as a passionate competitor of a person.
I think that throughout my childhood and teen years I simply viewed them as a local rival, a team I loved to beat, and a team involved in a cross-town rivalry that frequently went back and forth. Of course, throughout history, USC had dominated this rivalry, and picked up oodles of Heismans and National Championships, and UCLA had done no such thing. But, in fairness, I did not appreciate this fact until a bit past my teen years. But as the 1990's went on, and UCLA began an 8-game win streak over USC, my hatred for a team that voluntarily selected powder blue as their school color became more and more intense.
In 1995, my father, and the man who instilled a love for USC in me, passed away. This was just two weeks after UCLA came in the Coliseum with a true freshman QB named Cade McNown and beat the eventual Rose Bowl champion, USC Trojans. So USC loses to UCLA, my father dies, and then we go on to beat Northwestern in the Rose Bowl (Keyshawn Johnson's senior year). In 1996, a mediocre USC went into the Rose Bowl to play a mediocre UCLA team, and held a 17-point lead with 6:51 seconds to play. Not only did USC manage to lose this game in double OT (one of the worst losses I have ever observed), but they also apparently got UCLA thinking they were a good football team, because the 1997 and 1998 UCLA teams were pretty good teams, each going 10-2, and each beating USC. It was this stretch of time that reinforced for me what a passion-less, clue-less, historically ignorant, football-apathetic, etiquette-lacking, ethics-deprived group of people the UCLA community truly was (as a generalization, of course). I was single at the time, living by myself at a condo in Newport Beach, and frequently a part of the sports bar scene throughout Orange County. I traveled to USC games religiously (despite mediocre seasons), and increased my passion ten-fold for USC football (the heritage, the tailgating, the travel, the history, the love, the community - the whole thing). Largely in response to the death of my father, and largely because the Trojan family became unbelievably special to me for deeply spiritual and philosophical reasons, my love for all USC was peaking, while UCLA was in the midst of their best football run of all time. In 1998, I went to the Rose Bowl for Cade McNown's senior year performance against USC, and came out to find my brand new maroon-colored BMW keyed to death. I had USC license plate frames stolen no less than three times. I witnessed Bruin fans/students beat a 60-year old man into a coma. I had my home vandalized, my possessions stolen, my car attacked, and my frequent social visits to sports bars ruined, by members of a program and community that have not won the Rose Bowl since 1986, have not won a national championship since 1954 (if you even count that one), and could not sell out their own stadium when they were winning 20-games in a row. It was not just the unbelievably piss poor behavior of every Bruin I was ever around - it was the fact that they sold about 23 tickets for any road game they played, they choked big time in every big game they ever played, and they had absolutely no pedigree or football resume to speak of. None. I could not help but wonder - "What in the world gives these guys their attitude? By what standard do they justify this rank immaturity and arrogance when frankly inundated with such tremendous mediocrity?" And that is when I had my epiphany - right in the middle of the Jan. 1, 1999 Rose Bowl (at which barely a baby blue shirt could be found, as the all-red crowd of Wisconsin witnessed the all-red team of Wisconsin run all over UCLA's surrendered-ass). The reason no one at UCLA came to the Rose Bowl, the reason why their defense laid down against Miami a month later, the reason why they were so brutally miserable to be around in the middle of the win streak against USC, is because every single thing in their collective lives is about one, and only one, thing: the fact they are not USC. I had countless Bruins tell me they would gladly lose every game if it meant beating USC. I heard dozens of people in bars yell, "we have beaten you six years in a row" (I had to tell them it was eight). I heard more jokes and lines about how USC is a bunch of rich kids, and spoiled children, and other such creative drivel, that I finally understood why I hated them so: They did not exist to flourish as an institution; they existed out of an unbelievable inferiority complex to their private school colleagues across town - the University of Southern California. Every UCLA fan conversation turned into some nasty tirade about how they had beaten us, and how our daddies all paid our tuition bills. To this day, I never, ever hear Bruins define or defend their school in the context of any identity or pride; I only hear relative comparisons and contrasts to USC. It is like an obsession, only no shrink is needed to identify the complex, because they wear it right on their sleeves.
So after years of taking the vandalism, coarse language, threats of violence, and whining tirades about an eight-game winning streak (one that yielded ZERO Rose Bowl wins for UCLA, and ZERO national championships, and ZERO Heisman Trophy winners), I now had full clarity about what made the Bruins tick. And then came Pete Carroll ... USC wins three Heismans in four years; they stand a week away from their sixth consecutive Pac-10 championship; they have won two national championships in the last five years, and were 16 seconds from a third, and won another two BCS bowl games along the way. They beat UCLA by somewhere around 1,000 points from 2001-2005. I do not spend an iota of time gloating to the Bruin community over this stretch, because (a) I am above that, and (b) I can not find them, ANYWHERE. They damn near ruin my 1990's, and then disappear from the planet in the 2000's. I wonder why? UCLA is 37-36 in conference since Cade McNown left (special thanks to Mike in Torrance). A .500 ball club over a ten-year period. Wow. UCLA is 26-9 in the month of September since Cade left, but 8-16 in October. This is a simply incredible statistic. Dorrell is 4-9 in November as a head coach (special thanks to miyamky). This is not mediocrity - it is cow dung. They have lost to teams I have never heard of in bowl games. They have lost more games to teams they were favored to beat than any team in football over the last ten years. They have featured spectacular prep athletes, but have not managed to do anything of consequence as a football team, at all. So last year, they win a 13-9 fluke game over the Pac-10 champion Trojans, and what do they do? Riot in the streets of Pasadena, and begin yet another year of irrational gloating over a USC win (their first win since 1998, I might add). It was a huge win for their program, and they had every right to celebrate, but this is what I am getting at - they responded to their 13-9 win over USC by going into the Emerald Bowl, and getting their asses handed to them by one of the worst Florida State teams in recent memory. They simply do not care about anything but USC. I am too competitive of a person, and too focused on finding influences and mentors of success, ambition, and self-respect, to find anything compatible with this Bruin worldview that I uncovered in the late 1990's. Is every single Bruin guilty of this? Of course not. But am I being fair and charitable to the systemic state of Bruin culture? Absolutely, I am.
So do I hate UCLA because they are a tax-funded public school, and USC is an elite private school? No. Do I hate UCLA because their alumni tend to have absolutely no interest whatsoever in "being Bruins", while the USC community binds together like a brotherhood? No. Do I hate UCLA because I begrudge their basketball success? Absolutely not - I envy it, and continue to this day to believe John Wooden to be a mentor and role model. I hate UCLA, because they obsess with USC, like a kid brother who can't get his big brother's accomplishments out of his mind. I may think it is weird that they use Cal's fight song, but I do not hate them for that. I may have substantial ideological axes to grind with them, but I do with much of higher education. What I can not stand is the fact that the general state of the student body is oozing with pathological inferiority complexes, and they take that out on innocent and well-to-do Trojans every chance they can. They are a great school, but they are not a football school. And everyone at UCLA seems to agree with me, except the one game each year where they are blessed to play USC. Now, the time has come for this game to never again be a "blessing" to them. I have stated before, and will state again, my ultimate goal for them is the elimination of their football program. They have a rich basketball tradition, and have invested impressive resources in improving and sustaining such. They only play football for the purpose of beating USC every now and then. My goal is that eventually they wake up, and say, "we can't beat USC any more anyways; let's direct these resources to more profitable entities, like women's gymnastics, and men's diving". That day is coming. =)
**** Okay - enough ranting and raving about UCLA. Much of what I said there is tongue-in-cheek, and much is serious. I do believe the adage from the bottom of my heart, that at UCLA, you are a Bruin for four years, but at USC, you are a Trojan for life. No matter how much I dislike the Bruin world, I have a tremendous amount of respect for the fact that they can beat us any time, because that is the nature of the beast. They are a bizarre football program, and you never know what will show up on the field. Can UCLA beat USC? Of course. Would I recommend any Bruins bet their lunch money on it? No sir. Game commentary is forthcoming. Now, a trip around the country ...
- A comment on Notre Dame. So you think 3-9 is bad, huh? This is the first time since 1992 they have finished the season with two straight wins. Can you imagine? They have lost one of their last two games (or both) every single year for fifteen years, and this year they went 3-9. People do not realize how down and out this program is .... The good news? No bowl loss this year. The other news - I saw a coach last night opposite Missouri who may be larger than Weis. Seriously.
- Before Coach Les Miles pulls a Nick Saban and screws the kids at LSU he has become a multi-millionaire to coach, he may want to think long and hard about what the expectations will be for him once he gets to Michigan. A loss to Ohio State will leave him and his family unsafe next year. I suspect Saban is having second thoughts of his own after a 6-6 season and loss to rival, Auburn, as well. Each coach needs to do what their heart is telling them to do, but Les Miles is not the coach Nick Saban is, and Michigan is not Alabama. Tread lightly, my big mouth friend.
- That Arkansas game was one for the ages, and yes, it did change my mind on Heisman selection. I think very compelling arguments can be made for both Tebow and McFadden, but ultimately, I think McFadden deserves it. Chase Daniel and Colt Brennan should share the stage with McFadden and Tebow, and McFadden should get the trophy. Tebow will get his.
- I really wanted Alabama to beat Auburn, as I truly feel Tubberville is a terrible coach, and I have dear friends at Alabama. But Saban is not a miracle-worker, and I honestly believe the distractions of the week hurt the team (every day was an obsessive on his reasonably benign comments after their Monroe loss). I know Bama fans have to be devastated to pay a man $4 million to end up with the exact same record the fired Dave Shula had, but give this time. I don't like the man, but give him some time.
- Ohio State and Michigan did not play this weekend, yet they provided an equal number of exciting moments as they did the previous 11 weeks.
- One of my favorite Trojans of all time, Ed Orgeron, was fired at Ole Miss after three very rough years. He is a wonderful man, a serious study in redemption, and he deserves the love and affection of all Trojans who appreciate our success from 2001-2005 (and still climbing). His ferocity and recruiting prowess were a major part in our return to football dominance. I believe there will be a place for him at USC again, but in the meantime, fight on, Coach O !!!
- Franchione may be out of a job at Texas A&M, but I heard you can make $1,200 a year (per subscriber) by offering "inside scoops" on college football on the internet! If Franchione wants help with a business model, I am happy to share the secrets of my musings' success with him. As for his coaching future, I would say that he has no chance to be hired somewhere else, but, there is a sucker born every minute.
- Georgia is better than LSU, but LSU is better than Tennessee. The SEC had a flat-out awful year. I think Les Miles will really regret his smart ass comments about "weak conferences" when he goes to the Big-10.
- http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=carroll. A great read about the finest college football coach of the modern era. Recommended for all my readers, whether they are Trojans or not. =)
- Okay, USC's win over Arizona State. In all seriousness, that game could have been 70-10, and I mean that with all humility and sincerity. The Trojan offensive attack was so brutal, and so balanced, and their defensive pressure so intense, I truly believe the score was ONLY kept in check by a referee crew determined to keep it within 30 points. I never, and I mean NEVER, blame anything on referees, but their performance in this game was the worst of the season. Pac-10 refs have a lower approval rating than Congress, and all for a good reason. If Sedrick Ellis deserved that flag for flexing his muscles (which gave ASU 7 points), then I can not imagine what Rudy Carpenter deserved after almost every play.
- John David Booty was absolutely stellar. The bandwagoners are back on his train. What a magical night for him. He was brilliant in all aspects of the game. I only pray he keeps it going for two more performances. I believe he will.
- The running game was not as stellar Thursday night as it was against Cal, but it did not need to be. The play-calling was almost perfect, and my dream of offensive balance came true (37 run plays to 40 pass plays). With RoJo now a legitimate deep threat, Patrick Turner, catching most balls (not all) thrown at him, the O-line gelling together in substantial ways, and Fred Davis playing the best tight end season in USC history, this team should be a 32+ point team every time they play. I am being totally serious.
- While Booty has silenced all his critics with three consecutive wins, and three consecutive games without a pick (two of which were on the road against teams that were once in the top 5 in the country this season), the true hero of this month's incredible run is: PETE CARROLL. 23-0 in the month of November since coming to USC. 23-0. See my UCLA comments above for their November record.
- I take back everything I said in past musings about hoping Oregon would win out, so we could "back door" our way into the Rose Bowl. In fairness, if Dixon does not get hurt, I do believe they are the one-loss, uncontested Pac-10 champion, playing in the BCS title game. But with UCLA doing a much-appreciated favor for us by beating them, I have learned my lesson, and will never, ever, ever again try to let rationality and statistical probability get in the way of the passions of my life: WIN OUR CONFERENCE, WIN THE ROSE BOWL. Period. I have no room for other goals until they are truly eliminated mathematically. In the meantime, I promise to be more faithful in 2008. (Though I suspect that I, like many Trojans, did not merely believe Oregon would win the conference; doubt had to persist as to whether or not we would run the table after the Oregon game to be in the position we are now in - controlling our own destiny for the conference title, and our fourth Rose Bowl appearance in five years).
- The defense was absolutely suffocating, and I give a game ball to my man, Lawrence Jackson, as well as my favorite member of the much-improved secondary, Terrell Thomas. I do not mean to rub it in to my ASU friends, but does everyone realize that our best defensive player, Keith Rivers, did not even play??????? Word is that he will be back in full effect for UCLA.
- I have no cocky predictions to make, and no interest in violating my own principles about respecting the opponent. UCLA is coming to our Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, and I hope we will treat them with respect. But then I hope the football team will beat the living hell out of them. I don't ever want that 13-9 fluke to enter my mind again. They have a talented defensive line, and mediocre linebackers and corners. They have phenomenal kickers, punters, and kick returners. They have a series of terrible quarterbacks, and some okay wide receivers. Their good running back is injured, and their healthy ones are so-so. Their coaching staff is woefully under-qualified, and this is reflected in their pay scale. I can not see us losing, other than the fact that this game has produced many things I could not see happening over the years. If Booty plays 70% as well as he did last Thursday, and if we get any kind of turnover thing going to our advantage, this could be a blowout. I do not think it will be 66-6 ugly like the last time they were in the Coliseum, but it could be a 35-point win. This is not a prediction, as much as a "I could see it going this way" kinda thing. Pete Carroll-teams generally play their very best at the end of the year (the 13-9 debacle notwithstanding). We shall see if this holds true.
- UCLA clinched a bowl berth with their 6th win of the season against Oregon. Last year, USC has already clinched the Pac-10 when they entered the UCLA game. I think this year's set up substantially favors the Trojans.
- Next week's musings will feature my oft-referenced proposal for a BCS blow-up, in which the bowl system is maintained, and a playoff system simultaneously implemented.
- A loss next weekend will not keep me from penning my final regular season musings of the year, but if that were to happen, I would be writing as a broken man. A win next weekend will not leave me celebrating or gloating, because I take no joy in beating these guys; just pain in losing to them. I expect to beat them. After all, our identity as Trojans goes beyond being non-Bruins ... =)